It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
