At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
