I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
There r osticjed everywhere
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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