:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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