NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
