i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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