Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden? http://tfl.nu/x4ab
  Replies (111) Good night (12350) Bad night (1434)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube. (1-410): I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds. http://tfl.nu/szhm
  Replies (13) Good night (4778) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis" http://tfl.nu/xzec
  Replies (27) Good night (8326) Bad night (1606)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1368) Bad night (1547)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care. http://tfl.nu/ywjo
  Replies (5) Good night (3277) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies. http://tfl.nu/bycy
  Replies (5) Good night (1955) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know. http://tfl.nu/vjk4
  Replies (1) Good night (1445) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  welcome to the club.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night. (1-215): welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/wwaf
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now) http://tfl.nu/gh6j
  Replies (23) Good night (674) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan http://tfl.nu/4qu1
  Replies (4) Good night (958) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night http://tfl.nu/dhdy
  Replies (4) Good night (343) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Moonshine marathon is never a good idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Moonshine marathon is never a good idea http://tfl.nu/1b2l
  Replies (6) Good night (452) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30! http://tfl.nu/8l9n
  Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC. http://tfl.nu/am4q
  Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night http://tfl.nu/320l
  Replies (2) Good night (227) Bad night (590)

Randomize