her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
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I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.