You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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