Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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