Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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