i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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