What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
