do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
