moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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