Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
