all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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