For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
