textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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