I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize