I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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