Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
