I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
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I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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