i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I checked into jail on foursquare
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You're breaking my sexual little heart
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
