As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
