Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
