I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am available for nakedness
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
