oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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