dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
