So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
