I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
