No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
