what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
