why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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