I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
