Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
