Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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