So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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