he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My vagina just clenched in fear
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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