I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize