Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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