maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
