I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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