I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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