So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
