Umm I'm too high to move.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
