i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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