Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
