He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
