Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
