i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
