just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
