She's JV to your varsity
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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