At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
