Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
