why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
