Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
