Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
