i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
