"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
