Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
