my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
