Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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